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On life's lessons

Aug. 27th, 2006 | 11:56 am
mood: reminiscent
music: ryan cabrera ~ blindsight

This past week, I was a camp counselor for a leadership program. This past week, I learned how to love people. I learned how to hold unprecedented compassion. I learned when it was okay to cry, and that's whenever you feel like you need to. I learned how to give and receive, I learned how to be myself. I learned how to laugh, I learned that craziness is contagious...

I've still so much to learn, this is just the beginning. But the realization that I'm on a path to something wonderful is reassuring, to say the least.

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A night at the movies

Aug. 11th, 2006 | 01:38 pm
mood: calmcalm
music: daniel powter ~ bad day

I saw Miami Vice last night. It was the suck. Okay, well I can see how it could be entertaining, but I think I could've been more productive if I had slept through the movie. Instead, I stayed awake and laughed at all of the crime and nudity with Tiff. I think we were being really rude. We were those people that you hate at movie theatres, but can't help it if you become one. At one point, Colin Ferrell made a dead-on shot at a bald man, and a guy in the movie theatre shouted, "DAY-AM!" That was hilarious.

In other news, I'm moving this weekend. I think I like the idea of moving, although I hate the physical labor. But I like the idea of packing my life into boxes, and throwing away extraneous stuff that my life doesn't need anymore (i.e. receipts, fobby clothes from my mom, extra packets of oatmeal, etc). It's almost like a cleansing. Catharsis? Okay, this is getting way too complicated for a Friday afternoon entry.

I miss home a bit, but not enough to be diagnosed as homesick. I will admit that the fastest five days of the summer were those spent at home, along the Erie Canal. Reconnecting with the familiar always makes time fly.

Time to pack my life up!

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I walk the maze of moments

Aug. 5th, 2006 | 06:41 pm
mood: fantastic
music: enya ~ anywhere is

It's like every time I come back to this place, I rediscover how wonderful it is.

Home, you haven't gotten any fatter, and you age pretty damn well.

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Amid the crowd, there's a familiar face

Jul. 27th, 2006 | 08:08 pm
mood: indescribable
music: the click five ~ just the girl

I was walking in Harvard Square yesterday and I ran into a girl I hadn't seen since high school. I hadn't even known her that well; we hadn't been in many of the same classes, we never hung out together... but I suddenly felt myself giving her a hug. I have no idea why. I guess familiarity is just that comforting. It's just funny that the longest conversation I've ever had with her took place far removed from the place I call home, and yet home is how I know her.

Here's to beautiful summer nights - these are the sorts of nights we only read about in books, but rarely get to experience ourselves. :)

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More can be learned from Friends than the word "onus"

Jul. 16th, 2006 | 06:25 pm
mood: whatev
music: snow patrol ~ chocolate

I'll be there for you!
(When the rain starts to pour)
I'll be there for you!
(Like I've been there before)
I'll be there for you,
'Cause you're there for me too...

I hope I can be as good a friend as the narrator of this song... my #1 'thing' is to always help a friend in need. I hope I'm still sticking to it.

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"The truth about life is... every step is complicated. The past was no simpler than the present."

Jul. 4th, 2006 | 04:17 pm
mood: calmcalm
music: norah jones ~ don't know why

I wish Inspiration was something you could buy at the supermarket, in the pharmaceuticals aisle, filed under "I," right after Ibuprofen.

I wish I were more in shape (an isoceles triangle, or even a rhombus would do).

I wish the fact that the world was round would phase me. I wish the knowledge of all the stuff that's going on on the other side of the world would phase me. I wish knowing that there are people much less well-off than I am would change my day-to-day life somehow. But the truth is, it all doesn't.

I wish the sun would rise at nine in the morning so I could see it every day.

I wish I had the laugh that that beautiful girl I saw on the street has. Not her features, just her laugh.

I wish coffee were full of vitamins.

I wish I could be everywhere at once. At any given moment, there are millions of people living on the other side of the Earth, going through the same routines I go through every day, but in different ways. I wish I could be there to see all of that.

I wish things were always as they seemed. But I guess it's true that the past is no simpler than the present - it's just always easier to blame the present's complications by simplifying what used to be.

I wish July 4th were a conventional time for wishful thinking.

The truth is, someone probably thinks the world of you, so stop sitting in front of your computer reading this, go find them and start reciprocating the love.

Happy four, everybody.

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Sweet summer lovin'

Jun. 28th, 2006 | 01:13 am
mood: awake
music: phantom planet ~ somebody's baby

Woah dang, this summer is flying by like kids fly from bee's nests. And to my dismay! Isn't the Fourth of July supposed to mark the middle of the summer? I probably just made that up.

Summer in Cambridge is great -- I've been reading, yard sale shopping, hanging around my new dorm, thinking about life less, sailing, hanging with old friends, new friends, any kind of friends! Learning how to make cool images at work, and also dabbling in a little bit of programming. I'm proud to say that I've kept in touch with just about everybody. And hopefully I'll get to go home sometime soon, although looking online for airfares can be pretty tedious.

You know, there's something about home that's grounding, and I don't know what it is. I think my freshmen year, I didn't really see the point in going home for small breaks like long weekends and Thanksgiving break, but I did anyway, although I found it tiresome. Sophomore year, I didn't go home for Thanksgiving or Christmas, so I didn't see Pittsford, New York until March for Spring Break. And dang, when I stepped off of the train in March, I could smell the city of Rochester already, and nothing at that moment could have made me more excited. On the drive home, I clung to the window like a little kid's tongue clings to a lollipop... just seeing familiar buildings (and Rochester has never been prized for it's beauty, mind you)... maybe just a week of being surrrounded by familiarity was enough to get me back to college, in brand-new casing. But yeah, I'm not sure what it is about home that makes it so great, but it's a place I can always rely on to put me back on my feet.

I'm not sure what it is about the summer that makes me think less, but I find myself thinking about life and happiness and people less. You know, I always said to my friends during the semester that I think it's really important to occasionally smile at strangers, like busdrivers or cashiers, and just give them a huge, sincere smile and say things like, "Have a nice day!" because it can brighten up someone's day. I just like that sort of thing. I mean, don't be superficial about it. But I take the bus to and from work everyday, and everytime I disembark (ooh, I bet you almost went to www.dictionary.com on that word), I turn to the driver and say, "Thank you for driving!" and I see this look of surprise on his/her face. Some are even startled. And before they can really respond, I hop off the bus. And they're probably thinking, "Ha! What a peculiar girl!" But I'm not really that peculiar, if you think about it. I guess it sounds like I'm sort of preaching the "Let's make the world a happier place by being happy" mentality, but I suppose you should never smile if you don't really mean it. But if you do, then go for it! Go for the gold! Make the world a happier place! This does not mean you should have more sex.

What makes you think? What makes you happy? I don't even really know anymore, because these days, I'm taking life as it comes and tellin' it like it is. Goodnight, evra-body.

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I haven't done one of these in awhile...

Jun. 18th, 2006 | 12:38 pm
mood: peacefulpeaceful
music: maroon 5 ~ sunday morning

You are .html You are versatile and improving, but you do have your limits.  When you work with amateurs it can get quite ugly.
Which File Extension are You?

Posted for your enjoyment.

Now I'm out to catch some of that sweet summer sun...

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Nothing can capture a heart like a melody can

Jun. 14th, 2006 | 12:21 am
mood: random
music: abba ~ thank you for the music

I finally moved into my dorm for the summer! Bexley Hall. Man, what a place. Really different from the big open suites of Burton-Conner, but maybe a bit more social? My entry is actually pretty quiet but tonight, I made cookies and went around and gave them to people I knew (which is actually a majority of the dorm). I think this living situation is going to be awesome, considering sitting at my desk provides me with one of the best people-watching views on campus.

I have to figure out what to do with my evenings. By the time I get back from work, bike or swim, and eat dinner, it's about 7:30. What happens from 7:30-1? Playtime? Swinging on the swingset? Tonight, I just sat on the Student Center steps watching the sunset, people-watching and holding my latest book, The Poisonwood Bible. These days, that's how I read. I bring a book with me everywhere (save the shower and the bathroom) so I can at least feel like my summer is going into something productive like holding a book. So anytime I feel like looking down and reading a chapter, I'll do just that.

Summer in Cambridge has been really nice. You know, a lot of people refer to this place as Boston. In other words, if they're working at MIT for the summer, they'll say, "Oh, I'm staying in Boston this summer." Why? MIT isn't in Boston. But I guess that sounds cooler than "I'm staying in Cambridge this summer" because the word "Cambridge" doesn't have that zingy zest to it. Zingy zest? Whatever, it's written so I'll keep it. But yeah, I've always liked saying that I live in Cambridge, because it sounds like something a grown-up would say. Grown-up. I used to think 19-year-olds were grown-ups. But now that I'm there, I'm pretty sure I still have a long way to go. Then again, I'll probably be saying the same thing when I'm 30.

Anyway, my job is great -- it's really awesome to work with people who are so intent on teaching you something. It's a nice change from the semester, where it's really difficult to find someone who wants to see you learn something. Well, I guess that's not always true, but it really is difficult to find an MIT professor who isn't too busy with research to actually put time into the classes they teach. Not a bitter statement, just an observation I guess.

All of this ABBA I've been listening to reminds me of high school and the night we all paid $50 to see Mamma Mia! The good times... are far from over! This summer, I'm going to do something productive, like paint my nails bright pink, and learn Photoshop and cut ugly people out of pictures. Well, my nails are already bright pink. But the rest should keep me occupied for quite some time. Sorry for the discombobulated entry. I'm actually not sorry, I just wanted to use that word. I've got to start using big words if I want to do okay on my GRE's in 1.5 years. Okay bye!

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"She's gotta be somebody's only light..."

Jun. 5th, 2006 | 12:57 am
mood: goodgood
music: phantom planet ~ somebody's baby

I'm actually not sure who reads this anymore, but then again, I never really wrote for anyone in particular, so I guess the fact that I've lost audience members shouldn't change anything. This past week started out really slowly, with everybody gone and the constant lingering feeling that something was missing or unfulfilled. But I slowly got used to the empty suite, and now I actually like it. Been partying late with Tiff, Sisi or Eric... and by partying I mean listening to music, eating and falling asleep in other people's beds.

My parents came for a five-day visit. Sometimes, I feel guilty that they treasure the time they spend with me so much and I never seem to care too much. I mean, I love spending time with them but it seems they care about me more than I do about them. I guess that's sort of mean. I just find it difficult to reciprocate parental love. In any case, I ate lots of food from Chinatown and realized that me and Asian things don't really get along. I don't like seafood or beef, which limits me to 1/3 of any Asian menu.

Regardless, I think I'm getting better. I'm not sure what that's supposed to mean. What's better? I guess I think about things less than I did during the semester. These days, I just take whatever comes, without putting too much thought into why people do things. I think life's easier that way, although I'll probably pull out thinker-Wen-fai sometime during the summer.

I've started my new job at Harvard. It's pretty neat. Although I'm starting to doubt my dream to do research for the rest of my life. At lunch on my first full day of work (last Friday), one of the post-docs made all of the graduate students go around and rate their own research on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being that one's research would someday be ground-breaking Einstein revolutionary science material, 1 being that the scientific community could give a shit about what you're doing... and most everybody gave themself a 3! That was pretty sad. Some guy said, "You know, I could spend my whole life contributing a little piece to the puzzle, at best... I might not even do anything for the world." I think they soon realized that they weren't being good influences to me, but it was good to get the truth out. I suppose if I do decide to do research for my entire life and end up getting nothing worthy accomplished, I could make up for it by being an inspiration in other ways. I suppose I would have to pick up some obscure hobby, and become ridiculously good at it.

Now I'm just rambling. I've started to get the start-a-book-and-drop-it-after-twenty-pages syndrome, and it's only the first week of summer. This is the suck. I'm trying to finish Hitchhiker's Guide which I started last summer, and just a few minutes ago, I realized I only have 30 pages left in the book. This somehow gives me more inspiration to just finish the damn thing.

I have the feeling that this summer is going to fly by. Soon, we'll all get into that 9-5 work schedule, and we'll be channel-surfing at 9pm and realize it's time for bed. Time for bed!

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